Why cant I fall apart?

Ok so I miss the days as a teenager ( or maybe just non mom days ) when I could just fall apart. You know collapse on the bed in a chair and sob. You know release all those pent up tears and frustration all the anguish. The days when someone wasnt watching and I had to be tough. I dont really miss those days I just wish I didnt always have to be so tough. Folks for those of you without kids you will never know how tough parenting is until you experience it. Honestly labor is the smallest most easy part of becomming a mom. Its heartbreaking to see your kids hurt. I would trade just about anything to change places with them and take the hurt away. Then when the day id done I go off to my room and Im alone and then I cry. Not just a small teary eyed cry but a full fledged let it loose and bawl. You hold yourself and rock yourself. No one tells you its going to be ok except yourself. Sometimes its hard to listen to yourself. I try because I can be pretty convincing........Then I pull myself together dry my tears and get ready for the next fall because with every wonderful parenting moment I know I have to be strong

My hair hates me

I first thought maybe my hair just liked to be in charge. You know Ill do what you want this day but tomorrow your gonna see who the boss is. I thought maybe my hair didnt like me when it started to go gray. I was hoping it wasnt true but alas Ive decided it is true it hates me. Im sure nothing is going to change either.........SIGH.......stay tuned for my hair sequel. ( Im sure there will be one )

S.A.T.U.R.D.A.Y

Ok so I dont get alot of Saturdays off......So when my daughter Kaylee said she was wanting some hours at DQ. I said "take mine " I will gladly take a vacation day. So do you know what Ive done today? I watched The Bucket List. Very good movie by the way if you get a chance see it. Other then that I have done NOTHING!!! Last night I cooked I cleaned and I rearanged my livingroom and today I am still in my PJ's. It is 3:30 and I dont even care. Hows that for taking it easy?

A day off

Ok so I generally love Thursdays. They are my first day off for the week. I like to sleep in and take my time getting going in the morning, hang with my dog. All those good things. Today wasnt the case. I started off my weekend ( Thursday and Friday ) with getting a flat tire Wednesday. A bad flat. I came out of work and sure enough it was on the rim. Blah!!! It would not hold air and I could watch the tire going flat thats how bad it was. I called my boyfriend and he came and got me and brought me home. So this morning was spent calling tire shops and places to get the best tire deal I could get. I was going to just patch my tire, however I decided to get 4 new tires. Mine were shot anyway and I needed new ones so now was a good time. Also my 15 year old daughter was looking forward to taking her permit test. I had planned for a week to take her. Luckily my ever good to us boyfriend took us down there and Kaylee passed her test. I got my new tires and all was good in the world. I came home and opted to clean my fish aquarium, so now all is good in their world too.